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Culture of Selflessness   [ Menu ]

Culture of Selflessness

When Offering Help

Mark, the Founder of this ministry, has created what he calls a "culture of selflessness" for this organization specifically, in setting up a Christ-like environment within which all of us can work together while ever growing in our walk in Christ.

Along these lines, there are some specific issues which do and will need to established and understood.

Indeed, as this organization continues to grow, offers to help in this ministry also come in alongside such growth.

And that raises some issues in how to handle it all, and how to handle it righteously.

When referring to "help" in this writing herein, we are not talking about generic help which all of us are doing as fully and wholly independent individuals and ministries. Rather, when referring to "help" in this writing herein, we are talking about direct labor and other helpful things of material value offered specifically to this organization, most specifically referring to doing things particularly for TRUTH BEARER as the ministry itself, in helping this organization in an ongoing basis, where a relationship is established with the organization for the purpose of helping this ministry. (This is, therefore, NOT to be confused with generic offers to help or to be on the Friends And Fellowhelpers email listservs.)

As has been mentioned previously, this organization operates within what the Founder has termed as a "culture of selflessness". Obviously, such a concept as a deliberate "environment" for an organization is not something with which most people are all that immediately familiar. So, it is understood how "foreign" this whole new concept can be for many people the first time they hear of it. Yet, given the high-level of preaching on profound Christ-like love and the high-calling mindset of love-not-force about which this ministry preaches, it would, of course, make sense that this ministry could operate under nothing less than such a "culture of selflessness". :-)

More than that, we can surely see that this "culture of selflessness" is actually what this ministry can be rightly said to being "called" to establish, in setting the example of how love-not-force operates in all relationships, including working together to achieve such a vast goal as that of the TRUTH BEARER Mission of Bringing Christian Polygamy to the Churches.

With that said, it is becoming increasingly apparent that we have to have some things established with regard to all offers to help this ministry directly, specifically offering material value in goods or services to this organization. (Again, we are not talking here about generic help from all independent individuals and ministries.)

One of those things is in the area of "helper-dynamics" in this organization.

It is best that this organization NOT operate with the idea of "outside contractors". If someone wants to help, then they do so as individuals WITHIN the organization, not as WITHOUT or OUTSIDE it.

So, that leaves the issue of the relationships.

All of us are as friends, truly as brothers and sisters in Christ, all to HELP our common cause of advancing Christian Polygamy.

And all of us have different skills and callings.

But the area which can cause confusion is in the uncertainty of relationships when the help that is being done is without mortal compensation, without a financial "paycheck".

Obviously, the day will come when we will absolutely need and be able to afford to employ people for specific responsibilities. But that day is not yet here.

As such, all offers to so help must be done so out of service to the Lord Jesus Christ.

And that's where a common mistake in perspective can sometimes happen.

It is where people offer to help in such a way that it can then sometimes be perceived as if they are doing so "for free".

And if one has the mental mindset that they are doing something "for free", they then mistakenly perceive that that somehow gives them "freedom" to do whatever they want, because hey!, if the ministry doesn't like what they're doing, then they believe that they can always "just quit".

The mistake here, obviously, is that, if one is truly offering out of the selfless love of servitude unto Christ, then they really are NOT giving their help "for free". In fact, their compensation has been paid to them already.

How is that?

Their compensation was paid to them at the Cross of Calvary.

After all, if one is going to SAY that they are helping out of service of Christ, because they believe that the Lord has called this ministry to do the work to which this ministry is indeed so called, then "service to God" means just that. Service to God. And thus, payment HAS been made to them for their help, Christ paid it all to them (indeed to ALL of us who are His) at the Cross.

It is this realization, this mindset, which MUST be in anyone who offers to help us in this organization. There is no such thing as working "for free" in this ministry.

As such, all offers to help should come in the same perspective as though they were coming to work for us earning a direct "paycheck", as being a willing employee of this ministry for all our good. The only difference is, instead of a financial "paycheck", the compensation is that Christ has "paid" (PRE-PAID IN FULL, even!) all such helpers by His precious gift at the Cross, IF such helpers are offering to help out of their "service to Christ in helping THIS ministry" with its Agenda, Mission, Vision, and goals.

As such, all such willing helpers who help out of service to Christ must not think that they are doing any of their help "for free". Instead, they must only come as though they are actual willing "employees" (as it were), and they must behave themselves as willing "employees". (This is why the "culture of selflessness" is so important, because this is not about aggrandizement of anyone, but instead about edifying and promoting the most selfless among us, as this was the same mind of Christ for us.)

While it is obvious that there is a difference between the worldly concept of "being an employee" and that of Christian fellowworkers coming together and voluntarily helping and working toward a common goal, even so, the matters of behavior, responsibility, and accountability in the relationships are still basically the same.

Even in churches, the Scriptures say [as in 1_Peter 5:5], that the younger are to submit themselves in humility to the elders, for which such elders and bishops are held to such a calling of being "blameless" [1_Timothy 3:2-7 and Titus 1:5-9] and servitude unto the flock [Matthew 20:25-28], etc.

And the Word says that such leaders as bishops are indeed to be,
as it is written,

"NOT a novice, lest being filled up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil."
(1_Timothy 3:6)

As defined in THIS ministry, what is a NOVICE?

The answer is in how spiritually mature they are. Are they a NOVICE at walking in selflessness, in love-not-force, in the principles about which this ministry preaches of "profound love" (Christ-like love)? Therein is the answer.

For truly, the matters at issue in THIS ministry are about how selfless a person in Christ is and is growing up to, about how truly they are walking in love-not-force in ALL their relationships, about how deep in understanding they LIVE the message of profound Christ-like love (especially for a wife or wives), which all involves growing in humility.

Whatever skills, gifts, worldly prestige, background they have to offer from the world, it all MEANS NOTHING when compared to how much they are growing or not growing in what THIS ministry is called to teach and preach about selflessness, love-not-force, "profound love" and humility, etc.

If someone says that this ministry is called of God to teach and preach such things and that they themselves are thus called of God to help this ministry, then it would only of natural and spiritual course make sense that any such one who would help this ministry in their "service to Christ" make their offer to help only as they themselves be endeavoring to walk in the Christian principles which God has so "called" this ministry to preach.

Moreover, if God has so "called" them to so help this ministry because they believe this ministry is "called" of God, then it also makes sense that they understand who God has so "called" to steer the "rudders" of our mortal responsibilities in this "ship", this ministry, as well.

The reason it is important to address this is because, far more often than should happen, people make the mistake of thinking that they are offering their help "for free" (when truth is, Christ has already pre-paid and pre-compensated them with the free gift of salvation). And in their making that mistake, they then forget that this ministry is being led of particular individuals who have been involved in this ministry FAR longer that they ever have. Accordingly, they the make the mistake of thinking, because of their mistaken perception that they are helping "for free" (when they're not), that they somehow have authority (which was never given to them) to override or overrule the decisions, goals, or other like things of those who indeed ARE in an authorized position of leadership in this organization, as called of God.

The logic used is as follows: they think, "Since I am not being compensated, I have authority to tell a leader what to do, to tell them what they're going to do, and if the leader has other goals or issues, I can always just leave."

And so, with that kind of mistaken thinking, they place this organization into an ungodly and very vulnerable position. Some could even call it blackmail, even though that is not really the intent with most of such who make this mistake, for sure.

That is, that kind of (mistaken) logic would actually hold this ministry hostage (as it were) to the demands of any helper, especially if the helper has anything to offer which could very well help this ministry achieve some things more rapidly.

And that's just not a healthy way for any ministry to operate (not to mention how it is in direct contradiction with the "culture of selflessness" within which this ministry operates, as led of God to so purposefully operate).

The better way for every Christian fellowhelper who offers specific help to this ministry is to instead see their selves as PAID EMPLOYEES of this ministry (as it were), in that their compensation has already been pre-paid to them at the Cross because they are offering to help out of their "service to Christ".

And when such a Christian fellowhelper thus thinks of their self as a PAID EMPLOYEE, they should conduct their behavior accordingly. As they grow in selflessness, then more responsibility can be delegated to them. As they grow in humility unto others in this ministry who are authorized to lead and direct their offers to help, then more authority can be delegated to them.

Anywhere else outside a Christian ministry, a PAID EMPLOYEE (if they were committed to what they were doing) would never address their authorized leader ("boss", if you will, in some cases) with an attitude or mindset that would somehow put their leader in a vulnerable position of being blackmailed. (They would be too afraid of possibly losing their job, because their leader would never stand for such behavior.) Rather, the PAID EMPLOYEE would address their authorized leader with respect and humility and with a willingness to learn and listen.

So, if one would not do such disrepectful things with a mere carnal job, then how much moreso should such behavior be toward any assigned or authorized Christian leader in this ministry for anyone who has genuinely offered to help (as long as such leader is indeed walking in the right preaching and teaching of this ministry)? After all, if a PAID EMPLOYEE would behave their self respectfully in a carnal matter, then even that much more should they be submissive and helpful to the goals of their authorized leader in a Christian ministry which preaches love-not-force and which promotes the "culture of selflessness"! After all, if one says that they are helping out of their "service to Christ", then ---by definition--- they should be helping according to those who have been called to lead in this ministry long before these ones offering their new help ever "came on the scene".

Now mind you, there is no doubt that many people might and likely will be able to offer many excellent ways to help this ministry which have not been done before. New ideas are wonderful and wholly encouraged --even needed!!

But that still provides no justification for attempting to put this ministry into a vulnerable position of potentially being blackmailed (even if doing so fully unwittingly) with the demand stated as being a sort of "my way or the highway". If an authorized leader is not willing to yet embrace a positive suggestion in exactly the same way in which the helper offers it, it is very likely that that leader, being the much-more-experienced person in this organization of how we operate and so forth, might very well have good reasons (unknown to the helper at the time) as to why the authorized leader is not yet fully accepting of everything as exactly offered.

A PAID EMPLOYEE would understand this in any other situation of an actual "job". So, it should really be no "big deal" that this same kind of respectfulness need likewise apply in the same situation here in this Christ-centered ministry. (If anything, such respectfulness should happen here even MORESO because it IS Christian and this is about our "service to Christ" who has prepaid everything for us at the Cross.)

Help truly should be offered within the parameters of this ministry's ability to receive such help.

If the help can be utilized, great! If it can be utilized with some modification, that should be great too!

But all help ---because it is indeed just that, HELP--- should be help that is within the parameters of what any authorized leader in this ministry has already established. (If a helper wants to bring changes, they may always grow in their own selflessness, profound love, and humility, whereafter they may later be delegated such increasing responsibility and authority. But until they have shown themselves to truly not be a "NOVICE" in the ways of what THIS ministry preaches and "is about", then they should have the love and respect for adhering to the decisions made by the authorized leaders in this ministry and to ever continue to operate as though they were a PAID EMPLOYEE (because they have indeed already been prepaid at the Cross).

If this ministry has goals established, any help should try to work within those goals to be achieved. If the goals are somehow in need of changing, that may very well be the case, but no helper has the authority to unilaterally re-define matters or goals for this ministry unless they have been authorized to do so in the first place. (Would a PAID EMPLOYEE re-define their "boss'" goals without authority to do so? Of course not. Instead, they would continue to do their job within the confines of what their "boss" has established.)

Now the fact is, because of what this ministry preaches and because of the "culture of selflessness", no one has authority to "boss" anyone around. Being "bossy" is a variation of chest-pounding, and thus contradicts the principles of "profound love" and of love-not-force. So, no helper need ever be wary of being so mistreated, for, if that were to happen over a number of times, then such an authorized leader would soon be losing their authority. (After all, in a "culture of selflessness", it is the humble and selfless who are to be as the "greatest" among us and thereby do they obtain their authority. But when they lose their humbleness and selflessness, then they lose their authority and this ministry will no longer be able to delegate any responsibility of authority to such ones.)

So, even though this writing has now clarified how all helpers who offer their help should perceive of themselves as PAID EMPLOYEES (with their compensation as prepaid at the Cross because they do this in their "service to Christ" anyway), no one should the likewise be fearful that any authorized leader is going to be "bossy". Not at all, and God forbid.

The purpose of why helpers should see themselves as PAID EMPLOYEES is for all of us to remember how the interactions between us all should be when we are working together in our common goal. When a helper thinks of their self in this way, then they remind their self of righteous behavior in this ministry, therewith helping us all have the necessary cohesion and functionality to actually achieve our Mission of Bringing Christian Polygamy to the Churches. By thinking this way, a helper then does NOT make the mistake of thinking of unrighteous concepts because of the mistaken thought as though they are somehow offering their help "for free".

Mark, the Founder of this organization, further adds the following personal statement:

"Myself, I am no respecter of persons (as my Father God is). And I would have this example be followed by any one who would be or desire to become an authorized leader in this ministry.

As I would hope might be known about me already anyway, I (or any authorized leader) would absolutely not ever think of helpers as merely "paid employees" with any of the sort-of negative connotations whatsoever! God forbid. Rather, I see helpers as a pure blessing of people who are doing their "service to Christ" (for I am nothing).

My respect (as it were) only goes out to the most selfless, the most humble, the most walking in "profound love" and love-not-force, while I find myself "unimpressed" with worldly successes where there is little or no such spiritual success as these items listed here. I am ever looking for ways to lift up, edify, promote helpers in all ways at all times. And they make it so easy when they grow in selflessness, humbleness, "profound love" and love-not-force. That is what matters most, for sure."

So, in this "culture of selflessness", all who will offer their help must do so with the mindset of truly helping, truly doing actual "service to Christ", and having no thought in their head which would otherwwise place this ministry in a vulnerable position of being "held hostage" or blackmailed to what the helper might insist.

Again, if one's offered help is truly "service to Christ", then the Lord has already prepaid everything to the helper at the Cross. There should, therefore, be no self-interested "strings attached" to any offer of help. Indeed, that means that helpers do not offer their help to help this ministry for the purpose of seeking to reap their own personal benefit, credit, glory, gain, or anything else for their own selves. If their help is truly a "service to Christ", then they need no glory or further payment or credit for themselves. And when they seek no glory or recognition for themselves, they are then walking in selflessness and this ministry will then indeed most certainly lift them up, as that is what this "culture of selflessness" is about!

When this ministry is later able to afford making actual financial compensation, it will, of course, require certain codes of PAID EMPLOYEE behavior from all who would be so employed. As such, the same code of behavior should be the same in the meantime for and from all who offer to help in their "service to Christ" Who has prepaid them anyway.

And that way, we can truly create the beautiful working environment of the "culture of selflessness" wherein all of us, who are committed to the cause of the TRUTH BEARER Mission of Bringing Christian Polygamy to the Churches, are all growing in Christ, all of us, every single one of us without exception, ever growing in selflessness, humbleness, "profound love", and the entire mindset for Christian living and loving ---namely, the TRUTH BEARER Vision of love-not-force.


The above was originally written and posted to
The Fellowhelpers listserv of FAF, on October 03, 2000.

For further clarification, please also see the following important writing:
Overcoming the "FOR FREE" Mentality

© October 03, 2000,
P.O. Box 765, O.O.B., ME 04064
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Overcoming the "FOR FREE" Mentality


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